Blogging Out Loud

Ooops...I was on a role. Three days in a row, and then boom,three week hiatus. The thing is I "blog" in my head all the time, but I haven't scheduled "blogging" into my day yet. I am working on it, but life has been so amazingly exciting lately, honestly it has been low on the priority list.

Last week I had a difficult conversation with an old friend. Basically, I realized that we had grown apart and that made me sad. I expressed an interest in trying to rebuild, she asked if I was asking her out on a date. It was funny at the time, but I guess that is what I was doing. I was making a decision to say "Hey, I don't like where our friendship is, and we have the power to change that if we really want to." This, actually, has been a theme in my life this month.

As my family and close friends know, this has been a tough year (or two) for me. I was already struggling with the transition to motherhood when I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. It shouldn't have been such a surprise that this fall I began treatment for postpartum depression and anxiety issues, but it was. I've struggled with finding balance in my life. I spent a lot of time whining.

Then last month, I had a life changing moment. A missed opportunity that made me question what was holding me back and the only answer I could come up with was "me!". Amazingly, since I've commited to being more positive and decided to be successful and happy, my life has changed.  My business is flourishing, my children are happy, my husband loves me, I have amazing friends. The funny thing is the last three things I listed have always been true, but I was taking it all for granted.

I made a decision almost three years ago to be home with my children. Some people say I am "lucky". I am certainly fortunate, but there was not much luck involved. This was a decision that has resulted in having to make lots of sacrifices. Unfortunately, for too long I was getting caught up in feeling sorry for myself about those sacrifices and as a result I was missing the point!

Tonight as I carried both my children upstairs to bed, they were laughing hysterically. Yes, my husband is away again for work, yes my house is a mess, yes we have more bills to pay then money to pay them with...but holding those two beautiful, happy children in that moment the only thing on my mind was- "It doesn't get much better than this."